It’s time to dish about the infamous “Thock Party” in Seattle. It started out innocently enough as a simple sock exchange at Christmas among a group of PTA moms. Enter one rogue mom with a Santa thong and the Sock Party turned into a Thock Party. It’s never been the same since. I’d heard the stories. I’d even seen a few pictures. But nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, prepared me for this party.

This is just a cheap preview. Kelly Jo admiring Mo’s thong. And let me tell you something. . . this thong made it AROUND. Stick around and you’ll see it again.

One thing different this year is that there were a couple of husbands there. I’ve been told that they’d never attended before. I think the rumor got out that they were scared and they had to show their manliness. Either that, or they hoped thought it more closely resembled a porn show and were willing to take the chance. Aaahhh, how little they underestimate these parties. This is John, Kelly’s husband. He came to practice making his dirty martinis (to a willing audience, I might add).

This was John at the beginning of the night.

This is Kelly, his sweet wife. I was so thrilled to finally meet Kelly. She and I are kindred spirits and both love and adore our friend, Mo, and often leave the same exact comments on her blog verbatim as if we were the same person. (She gives Mo GREAT advice! )

This party gave me the opportunity to meet several of the RahRahs that didn’t get a chance to make it to Vegas a couple of years ago. (THAT was a trip!) Jen was one of them. OMG! We started talking and I think we could’ve talked for three days straight. What a total sweetheart!!!

And how adorable is she? Seriously. Is she not the cutest?!

Now, I had met and had a fabulous time with Demery in Vegas and I’ve followed her blog for years. Finally, I got to meet her family. Her daughters are BEAUTIFUL!!! OMG – gorgeous! And I finally met her famous husband (among the blog, of course), Jake. Mo has professed her love for Jake for YEARS. Now I know why. A great great guy! He and Demery have been together for 20 years. I love that!!

Jake and Demery! Here’s to 20 more!! Ya’ll are beautiful people!

But here I caught Jake in action. He was another husband that stuck around for the festivities. Well, he stuck around for a little while. His fatherly duties tore him away.

But in the meantime, he wasn’t missing a trick.

Have I mentioned that no one’s dignity was spared at this party? Not even Otis, the pug!

I’m pretty sure Otis didn’t sign up for THIS! Thank goodness, he’s such a great dog. He took it in stride.

This is Mo and Martha! Don’t they look happy? I think they’re the ones that dressed Otis in the thong. Don’t let the innocent, happy faces fool you.

But someone saved Otis’ humiliation.

Demery took one for the pug! (I told you that thong made its rounds)

As we each opened gifts, there was quite the variety of responses. There was the innocent “Oh my goodness, why I could never”. There was the wild “Woohoo! New play things!”

Then you have Kelly Jo who says “I have this exact same pair!!”. Shocking? Not if you know Kelly Jo! **love you Kelly Jo**

Mo’s daughter, Melanie, attended for the first time. She was a Thock Party Virgin like I was, so I didn’t feel so alone.

You could feel her apprehension in selecting her first Thock Party gift bag. You never know what you’re going to get! But I think Mo’s apprehension was even greater. Until. . . .

She selected the PERFECT gift for her. A tiara! Wheeewwww! I could physically FEEL Mo’s sigh of relief. It didn’t require batteries.

By this point in the night, I was feeling the martini, the margaritas and the beers. . . and what I thought were perfectly lovely pictures of each and every friend/guest opening up their gift that I was taking turned out . . . not so much. I didn’t realize that the camera would take blurry pictures if the operator was seeing blurry. I thought that since the camera was sober, the pictures wouldn’t look like a drunk person took them. I WAS WRONG! So there are only a very few people (early in the night) that I have decent pictures for. Martha is one of them. Here she is surprised at her Large sized thongs.

No need to be surprised. They were not bought as a gag gift or meant as an insult. Quite the contrary. They were meant for 75% of Americans who are NOT a Size 0.

See what I mean! Perfect fit. Should she choose to wear them over her clothing.

I, apparently, was still semi-sober when Mo opened her gifts. She LOVED her lipstick!!!

Or was it REALLY lipstick? Last time I checked, MY lipstick didn’t VIBRATE!

Now it was to ME. Lookie what I got!

Had I had THIS and had I been 20 years younger when we met those hotties on the ferry, this would’ve been a whole different weekend. I’m just sayin’.

And speaking of “younger”. . . my fellow Thock Virgin had witnesses friends with her.

Aren’t they adorable? So young! Having so much much fun! And there’s that thong again!!!!

John, on the other hand, ended up more like THIS at the end of the night.

I think he seriously underestimated the power of the Thock!

So much so that even Cheroo, Mo’s cat, John’s male compadre, was sitting there watching and contemplating the seriousness in which he thinks humans have failed as a species.

Can’t you see him thinking, “Seriously? People? You need to get a grip!”