How can one set of parents give birth to such totally opposite offspring? My brother, my sister and I are all infinitely different – opposite sides of a triangle. My sister and I are especially different in many ways. We were born only 14 months apart, yet I look about 15 years older. She got the “young” pretty gene from my mother. I, on the other hand, look like my dad. He didn’t make a very pretty woman.

Where my sister is tiny and shapely like my mom, I am larger and built like a square. The sister has a teeny tiny waist, small boobs and a behind that men have chased for years. Me – I have a mushy waist, huge boobs and a FLAT behind. My sister never had children and thus focused on her career where she became very successful. I became a mom, gave up the career, only to have to start over ten years later, still focused on my children. My sister is not very domestic, where I would like to reinvent myself as Martha Stewart sans the corncob up her ass. The sister is very concerned about her appearance at all times. Me – I’m lucky to have my hair cut by a professional once every five years and shorts and t-shirts are my friend. My sister does not cook. (That could explain why she’s so tiny) So you can just imagine my surprise when SHE gave ME a recipe.

That’s right! She gave me a recipe that she takes to potluck dinners. She was so excited to share it with me. Now when I tell you that it’s simple. . . you just simply have to believe me. This is from a girl who DOES NOT COOK, people! Actually, there’s no cooking involved in this either, but it IS a dish that she puts together. I tried it and it IS pretty good. I can see how it’s a favorite of hers since all you have to do is open cans and mix together.

See! This is all you need! No heating required. So save all those pots and pans. You don’t even need a measuring cup. You can eyeball the dressing.

Texas Caviar

2 cans Pinto Beans
2 cans Black Beans
1 can Rotel Tomatoes (mild)
1 can Rotel Tomatoes (hot)
1 can Shoepeg Corn
1 can Mexican Corn
1 cup Zesty Italian Dressing

Pour beans, tomatoes and corn into a colander and drain well. Pour into a large bowl and mix in the Zesty Italian Dressing. Stir. Serve with Tortilla Scoop chips.

Now I’ve seen recipes for Texas Caviar before and this wasn’t it, but that’s what she said it was called. Actually she said that she wanted to call it Mississippi Caviar or even Arkansas Caviar, since that’s where she’s at right now. I think I’ll call it Potluck Scoopy Hodgepodge Chip Dip. But that’s just me.