It feels like I’ve been in a timewarp with the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas disappearing before my very eyes. Now Christmas Eve is HERE! Aaaahhhhh! **runs screaming from the room with a laundry list of unchecked items on her To-Do List**

This past year has certainly had its challenges. Giant layoffs and shake-ups at work have left for some sleepless nights. The pisspoor economy, the recession, the constant fear of which shoe is going to drop next has left finding my usual Christmas inspiration increasingly more difficult.

However, Thanksgiving DID give me a little kickstart. We ALL went up to my ex’s traditional Thanksgiving family reunion at the cabin in West Virginia (me, both boys and the new DIL) and had a fantastic time. The whole big family was there (all but one neice and one nephew). I LOVE this family! And they love me. We were only there for a short time and had to get back home the next day so my oldest could go to work, but it enough time for their love and support to kickstart my holiday inspiration.

Then the Saturday following Thanksgiving, I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner for my mom (so my boys get TWO Thanksgiving dinners) and invited my nephew over who didn’t get to make it to the cabin. I love Jeremy!! Such a sweetheart! It turns out that HE, inadvertently, was cause for even more holiday inspiration with a quick impromtu trip to Michaels (our local craft store) the next day. He was working on a project for his mom for Christmas and I was just along for the ride. He was wanting my creative opinion.

I wasn’t feeling particularly festive or creative. But apparently, the magic combination to cure my lack of inspiration was a craft store (I LOVE craft stores) and my nephew’s enthusiasm. (Hey Jeremy!!) And I even stepped outside of my usual box. Usually, my creative talents gear more toward painting of some sort. But this time, I was motivated in the floral department. There were SO MANY beautiful Christmas wreaths on display that I was impressed with. That and Jeremy’s encouragement made me think, “Hey, I think I CAN do that!” And I was off and running.

This is my very first attempt at a holiday wreath. (See Jeremy! You were right! I COULD do it!) Then I got excited and went back to the store and got enough stuff to make another one. I made one for my new daughter-in-law. She picked out her color scheme and gave me some idea of what style she was looking for. Again, I was off and running. Then I made another one for our holiday party at work.

This was not your typical holiday party at work. There was no holiday party provided by the company this year, so we went out on our own. My department all agreed to go to a local restuarant, have dinner, and do an Elephant Gift Exchange. My brilliant idea, since I was obsessed with making wreaths all of a sudden, was to make one as a door prize. Anyone who was interested in winning the wreath put their name in a hat and a name was drawn. The lady that works for me as the Data Entry Supervisor won and she was thrilled! The whole party was an overwhelming success. We all agreed that this is what we would do from now on (instead of the snooze-fests that we used to have). It was a good time!

Here’s part of my crew. I was lame and didn’t even REMEMBER my camera till half the people had left. (Maybe it had something to do with the two glasses of wine. . . just keepin’ it real) So these remaining folks had to endure my other obsession, my camera. Thanks ladies!!!

AND MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL!!

I, in fact, have NOT fallen off the planet.  From my recent blog absence (thirty lashes), I can only gather that my tens of readers who know me well understand that I’ve been emotionally, creatively, and inspirationally drained completely DRY as of the last several months.  But there’s hope.  Wee bits of inspiration happen in the oddest of places.  And the oddest place that I could have possibly thought of was at my job.

I love my job.  I really do.  But this economy is squeezing our company to death . . . and taking my spirit with it.  BUT!  And there IS a BUT!  BUT, MY department still has spirit.  I love my department.  They are a great group of people who work very hard and never complain about too much work.  (This is the group that survived the huge layoff just several weeks ago)  In fact, they only complain when we don’t have enough work.  These are people who are trying to feed their families and not opposed to working for it.  I adore them all.

Today only proves how extra special they are!  For the last several days, this group of people had planned and plotted right under my very nose (shows how much I pay attention) and they managed to throw me a “surprise” birthday party.  It was a surprise because my birthday is three weeks from now.  But with scheduling holidays and cramming unused vacation days in before the end of the year and getting my part-timers here all at the same time, this was the only day when MOST of us would be there together.  So when G, the lady that’s worked for me for six years, buzzes me and asks me ever so exhaustedly to “Come in here, please! I need to see you!”, I stood up muttering as I passed DeWitte’s office, “A clue would be nice.  What am I walking into?”  I seriously thought that I was about to be hit by a bus.  (You never know.  I’m just sayin’.)

And there it was!  SURPRISE!! A surprise party for ME!  And behind me came MY boss (DeWitte), who knew about it all the whole time, along with my daughter-in-law (who works there too).  They knew about it all along!  Even my son knew about it, and nobody said a word!  Sneaky sneakies.

It was a very nice (embarrassing) surprise!  Tons of delicious food!  And a birthday cake (G makes an awesome lemon pound cake!  She knows how much I love it!)  And a birthday card with an Overstock.com gift card.  It was a great intermission to an IMPOSSIBLE Monday, a much welcomed break.  Thank you ALL!!!

. . . but I have to say. . . if I had known, I would’ve worn some more. . . “flexible” clothing, because my pants cut me in half the rest of the day.  I ate waaaaayyy to much!  Awesome surprise!

**Think “Annie” when you read that title**  The sun actually came out today though!  But I’ve had that song in my head all day. 

After four days of RELENTESS rain and WIND, the sun was quite the welcome change of pace.  This area absolutely got HAMMERED this past few days.  I’ve lived here in the Virginia Beach/Norfolk area for 21 years ago this month.  I’ve seen several hurricanes and quite a few nor’easters (I admit I had no clue what that was when I first moved here, but it’s another name for a really nasty storm when you have an ocean to your east, a bay to your north, and rivers and tributaries running throughout every nook and cranny of your area).  I’ve seen wind damage, been through power outages for days, and have seen, been IN, and driven through some serious flooding. (Ex killed my Price Is Right car that way once) 

I’ve SEEN bad weather. BUT, I honestly have never seen wind and flooding like we had with this nor’easter (remnants of Ida).  It was worse than any hurricane that’s come before it in the last 21 years.  Don’t get me wrong.  We get the storms.  They come and go pretty quickly.  A flash in the pants most times.  But this dang weather system just sat on top of us and hovered like nothing I’ve ever seen before.  High tide after high tide.  Constant, relentless.  And the flooding was amazing.  The flood water was chest deep at the intersection of Boush and Olney streets in downtown Norfolk, a corner that I used to work. (Wow! That sounds like I was a street walker)  I’d seen that area flood before, but never CHEST DEEP.

Our weathermen were all so excited that they were dang near having orgasms on the air.  “Oooh Oooh!  It’s R.E.A.L.L.Y. windy and rainy outside!  **insert gutteral sounds**”  They get SO excited over the tiniest little weather phenomenom that you can just imagine how they were squirming in their shorts over ACTUAL WEATHER.  Bless their hearts (a Southern term that can summarize a variety of statements with its own little tone – too bad there’s no audio here).

But we survived it all!  Me and my trusty Jeep made it to work everyday.  The crew at work was VERY slim, but I was there!  Braving the elements, trudging through flood water.  And the General Manager made a comment about me wearing sneakers.  **insert gutteral sounds here too, only MUCH different**  He couldn’t say, “Hey, thanks for making it in.”  NO.  I get snide comments about wearing sneakers (like I was going to ruin my good heels in flood waters).  **more gutteral mumbling**

Tomorrow I will be wearing my proper footwear.

After the kids grow up?

I’ve always had all this energy that I directed toward my boys while they were growning up. You know the drill – driving them all over God’s green earth, helping them with incessant homework and their ongoing activities, and feeding them constantly. It’s stunning how much two teenage boys can eat! And they wanted to eat more than once a day; the nerve.

Well, with them on their own, I’ve been left with a lot of extra time and energy. The first thing I did was throw myself into my job. I didn’t do it conciously; it just sort of happened. In fact, I had one boss that bought me a book on Co-Dependency and ordered me to read it. He said I was co-dependent on my job for my self worth and happiness, and he was doing his part to help save me from myself.

Now my current boss, while he has always appreciated my “above and beyond” approach to my job, encouraged me to blog instead, use my computer skills to start a website, fill my free time doing something creative. I started with a little blog on Spaces a few years ago, where I actually met (literally and figuratively) a really great group of friends (lifelong friends). Then I expanded to a Vox blog and did both for awhile. Vox had a different kind of community. Then I ventured out on my own building my own site here at Yellow Jeep Blonde. (I’m totally lame and can’t think of a better name for myself. If YOU can, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE send me some suggestions)

I started just telling ordinary stories; just day to day life stuff, sharing pictures and jokes and such. But something was missing. I wasn’t passionate about it (translation: not nearly interesting enough). And apparently, I need to feel that passion. I was, afterall, passionate in raising my children. I’m passionate about my job (which sometimes gets me into trouble – I care TOO much) So I, again, asked myself what I wanted to do with myself.

That’s when I got a camera and started taking pictures. I LOVE photography and thought “How hard can it be?” As it turns out. . . it’s a lot more tedious than I thought it was. And I don’t have a natural eye. My oldest boy has a natural eye for composition and color; a real talent. His pictures put mine to shame.

My pictures being just so-so, I thought MORE about what my passion is. Excluding my family and my job, I’m still left wide-eyed wearing a big question mark as a top hat. Looking around my house and seeing the 14,503,649,218 cookbooks and cooking magazines and questioning my freakish obsession love in finding really good new recipes, a lightbulb went off. Ding! I’d share my recipes. Some tried and true old Southern classics, and my new recipes that I’d find delicious.

It sounds good in theory since I love to cook. I’ve dabbled in that for awhile posting delicious recipes on this site, but the site, Yellow Jeep Blonde, has NO relevance to cooking. SO, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into branching off into a different website that is totally devoted to cooking. I realize that there are a bazillion cooking sites out there already, BUT it’s what I love to do – my passion, so to speak. I love all things food related!

My problems lies wherein WHAT to call my little branch of a website. Yellow Jeep Blonde Cooks is kinda dumb. Jeeps and cooking don’t have a lot in common. In fact, being blonde has no relation to cooking either. (I’ve HEARD that brunettes can cook too) So I’m two for two on the ix-nay YellowJeepBlondeCooks-nay. This is where I need creative help. Does ANYONE have any genius ideas on what to call my little cooking site? “Self-professed cookbook hoarder” is too long. “Cookbook Slut” is too abrasive. I need something that is JUST RIGHT.

Help me, please!! Pretty please!

Not exactly like Hank Williams Jr. wrote it (we don’t “get stoned and sing all night long”), but we DO have our family traditions.

With my youngest child getting married and adding a new wife/daughter-in-law to the family, this quiet young girl has had to adjust to our dingdong family traditions pretty quickly. And along with all the different personality traits she’s had to become accustomed to, there’s also the holiday traditions and. . . . birthday traditions!

I LOVE doing birthdays! Not MY birthday. Other people’s birthdays. And sweet DIL just celebrated her 21st birthday. I couldn’t let it slide under the radar. That’s just not my style. No sir.

And apparently I taught my male child well in the art of birthday tradition because he did a VERY good job surprising her with a cake with 21 candles, a dozen roses and a birthday card with a heartfelt letter inside. (We women love those!)

I took them to dinner

along with my oldest boy and their dad. (It was only awkward for their dad. I don’t know why. I don’t get awkward around HIM.)

And then I made dinner on Saturday for her, Adam, Chris and my mom complete with birthday cake.

See how adorable she is! The cake is sad though. She had asked for a strawberry cake, so I used a cake mix, canned frosting and squirty stuff to write with. I’m not used to either of those. I don’t often make cakes using a cake mix, or frosting out of a can. And apparently I’m inept in the art of picking out the squirty stuff to write with. I picked up what was called “Cookie Frosting” and me using my Donna Logic thought, “How different is cake frosting and cookie frosting?” I just wanted something with a little squirty tip so I could write Happy Birthday. Frosting is frosting, right?

Well. . . . not so much. It’s VERY different. Nothing like practicing on the real deal too. It didn’t turn out very pretty. Everyone seemed to like it though, I didn’t so much. Maybe I’m just a cake mix snob. Who knows.

Either way, I think Shelley had a great birthday WEEK! At least she knows what she’s in for next year.

My scary little skeletons almost 20 years ago. Aren’t they precious?

My oldest STILL dresses up. He loves Halloween and loves the “shock factor” even more!
Tonight, he’s going to a Halloween party at his friends’ house dressed as a baby; more specifically, Baby Herman in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”.

I can’t wait to see this! My boy is a hoot! Completely unafraid and funny as Hell. And I’m pretty sure that his baby bottle won’t be filled with milk. I will post the frightening results tomorrow if I can get my hands on some blackmail pictures.

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Here are some repeat Halloween jokes just to get you started in the Halloween spirit. Most of these jokes are real groaners (get it, Halloween…. GROANERS hahahaha hehehe uhhh yeah). Sorry, anyway…

Q. Why was the student vampire tired in the morning?
A. Because he was up all night studying for his blood test!!!

Q. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
A. It’s good for the bones.

Q. Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
A. They’re afraid of flying off the handle!

Q. Why don’t skeletons like parties?
A. They have no body to dance with.

Q. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
A. They’re good at keeping things under wraps.

Q. Why do vampires drink blood?
A. Because coffee keeps them awake all day!

Q. Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?
A. Because he’s a pain in the neck!

Q. Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A. Because people are dying to get in.

Q. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A. His ghoul friend.

Q. Where does Count Dracula make his withdrawals?
A. At the blood bank.

Q. When does a ghost need a license?
A. During “haunting” season.

Q. What was the witches’ favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling

Q. What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A. A dead ringer.

Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A. Boo boos

Q. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A. Ice Scream

Q. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A. Don’t spook until your spooken to.

Q. What did the Mommy Vampire say to the Baby Vampire?
A. “You are driving me batty.”

Q. What did the monster eat after the dentist pulled his tooth?
A. The dentist!

Q. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
A. Squash

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Just dig this up and read it again. You’ll begin feeling like a genius in no time.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”
–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”
–Winston Bennet, University of Kentucky basketball forward

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.”
–A congressional candidate in Texas

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Danny Ozark, Philadelphia Phillies manager

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
–Al Gore, Vice President

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”
–Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
–Lee Iacocca

“The word ‘genius’ isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
–Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville, SC

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?