no_internet

Now I realize that I just posted about what all us “old folks” did before the almighty cell phone. And I even laughed at these “youngsters” who don’t have a clue what it’s like to be “unplugged”.

But now I sit here before you with egg ALL OVER MY FACE.

Why? one might wonder.

Last week, my Internet went out! Gasp! But that’s not all. My cable TV went out as well! GASP! Bring me a cold beer and an aspirin! THEN when I went to call the cursed cable company (after making sure I’d paid my bill on time), my phone didn’t work either!!!!! I needed to lie down. It was just too much for me to take.

Grabbing my cell phone that had limited battery power remaining, I began the long and tedious journey through cable company phone prompter HELL to finally reach a human being with a real, live pulse. THEN to boot, I couldn’t understand a word she said. I made her repeat herself so many times that I annoyed even ME. Well, long story and over an hour wait, my cell phone did indeed die. I plugged it in and already had a voicemail from the cable company calling me back. She was quick. Then she called back again. Only this time she was telling me that it had been determined to be an outside problem. She couldn’t fix it from there with her magical powers. She had to send a technician out to fix it. Okie dokie. Not a problem. Until . . . . . “We don’t have any slots available until Friday.” SCREEEECCCHHHHH!

My world starting spinning. I was lightheaded. And I saw stars. I believe I started whimpering at this point too, “Friday? Reeeeaally? What will I DOOOOOOO until Friday? That’s THREE DAAAAAAYS!” **said in childlike whiney voice**

What was a girl to do? Read a book!?! Gads. I don’t have a problem reading a book. I actually enjoy reading. But not when I HAVE to. . . because I have no alternative. Not while I was missing my daily dose of The Young and the Restless. Not while I was missing my Facebook addiction. Not while I couldn’t log into the office (which was what I was trying to do when I discovered I had no Internet). It was TORTURE! Plain and simple torture.

I went out to my pool as soon as I got home from work. There was no reason for me to even eat dinner. I was depressed. And in my sad depression, I realized something about the loss of the Internet, the cable AND the phone. I can actually do without one of those services (in a pinch), but I was a sad, pathetic mess what with all three being gone. I related it to back in the day when the boys would go away with their dad for a week. I’d be completely lost for the first couple of days, whimpering about feeling sorry for myself throwing a big, fat pitty party. Then I’d start getting used to it. I’d begin to adjust. Then they’d come home and I wondered why I had been so depressed.

I also realized that I’ve become just like these “youngsters” with their high-tech addictions. I need Technology Addictions Anonymous NOW!

Imagine if my cellphone had been out too!