Apparently, I have yet another new neighbor. At the streetlight in front of my house where I set my garbage out for pickup, this is what I found last night strung up between the lightpole and the tree. Mr. Freaky Spider! And he said, “Hey Lady! Watch it now. Don’t go messin’ with my place.”

Me – in looking at his 3+ foot round web and how much work he’d put into it, said, “Well, by all means Mr. Freaky Spider! Carry on!” and I slowly backed away.

I went straight inside to get my camera. Mr. Freaky Spider was slightly annoyed with the flashes. So I only snapped a couple, since I didn’t really want to piss him off or anything.

I did, however, go immediately look him up on the Internet. You know, to check out what kind of neighbor I have now. Turns out that it’s basically a Garden Spider, an Orb-Weaver, and is a non-aggressive spider. If you don’t bother him, he won’t bother you kind of spider. Okie dokie. . . he gets to live.

I was happy about that too because I would have a problem killing something the size of my fist. It’d make entirely too much noise and I’d probably lose my cookies.

Then I felt things crawling on me all night long. After three whole hours of sleep, I’m thinking I need to find Mr. Freaky Spider a new home. Not that I’m paranoid or anything. Now the question is HOW? How do I move Mr. Freaky Spider without “bothering” him?