Had I been in elementary school today, that’s the note that would have gone home to my parents. “She didn’t play well with others today.”

My defense: I have always been a “people pleaser” and a “peace maker” as far back as I can remember. My childhood was riddled with seeking approval. My mother just mildly scolded me about “people pleasing” this past weekend. So to say I’m temperamental is not really true. Until menopause reared its ugly head, I was usually more like a doormat. Now. . . not so much. I’ve mentioned my recent lack of tolerance for BS these days? Yeah, that. Well, THAT came into play today at work.

All I wanted was for this dude to DO HIS JOB. (He doesn’t work FOR me – we more or less work together. But in his mind, I’m pretty sure I work for HIM) But instead, he makes everybody go through the same song and dance and pony show (and waste of time) so that we all understand the power and importance of his job before he’ll do anything to help the situation (which is his JOB). I usually am pretty patient and wait out the dance, but today I was slightly slammed with work and didn’t have time to go through the usual routine. To top that off, he had an attitude that was “dismissive”. . . dismissive, like my issue was of zero importance to him. . . he acted like it didn’t matter one iota. . . and I snapped. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just wanted him to do his job! The one thing he avoids like herpes.

After said blowup, my issue was fixed within about five minutes and everyone was back to work. But my question is, “Why do some people place SO much value on their job that they think they are GOD?” “Why are some people so arrogant to think that THEY are better than others?” Is that the same question? Sorry. This guy’s arrogance has blown a circuit in my brain.

The thing is. . . we’ve worked together for years (while I humored him) and we were friends. Work friends. And leave it to Murphy’s Law where I usually NEVER see this guy. I could go DAYS without ever laying eyes on him. Two hours after blowup, I run smack dab into him in the kitchen. He gave me the evil glare and even grunted, I believe. Me – if my eyes could talk (and I’ve been told that they do), they were giggling. I don’t know why. That’s just what they were doing.

That’s when I realized that I’d finally gotten past a hangup I’ve had my ENTIRE life. I’d always been SO afraid of confrontation because I thought if I upset the other person that they wouldn’t like me anymore. That they wouldn’t be my friend. So, I sold my soul for over 40 years, not contributing my true opinion, my true thoughts, my true self. Well, NOT ANYMORE. I finally don’t need anyone else’s approval in order to believe that I’m a good person. I finally believe that my opinion matters as much as anyone else’s. I finally believe that if a simple disagreement distroys a friendship, then it wasn’t much of a friendship to begin with. And as long as I believe that I’m right, I will state my case.

I’ve finally growing up. Wheeeee!