The weekend sure did fly by! I stayed at a steady pace the whole time, yet I still didn’t come close to finishing everything I needed/wanted to do. I’ve had paint downstairs for weeks ready to paint the bedroom, but we keep having super nice weather every weekend dangit! And “I”, being “me”, can NOT stay inside when it’s that nice out. It’s a curse. How wacked am I that I blame nice weather on my own procrastination?

It was calling my name. I couldn’t help myself.

I DID get one major thing accomplished though, but it really only scratched the surface. I organized a small part of my office. I uncovered piles of paper that I’d printed out over the last several months “to read later”. . . recipes, Photoshop How-To’s, Etsy How-To’s (for my mom), webpage How-To’s (cuz I’m always trying to find ways to improve my site), lists of blog ideas, more recipes, and the list goes on. I put all of these in a binder with tabs separating each category. I took THIS outside with me and read through it all while soaking up what will possibly be the last great weekend of warm sunshine. The entire 2 1/2 inch binder. All as a means to justify my “lounging” in the sun. I don’t know why I feel I have to justify myself TO myself on how I spend my time. That’s another curse. I hate wasting time.

I feel good about my partial organization. I feel good about what all I learned as I read. BUT I now have a new list of To-Do’s which only overwhelms me more because they’re just added on top of the list of things that didn’t get accomplished this weekend. Aaaahh! Does it end? Hell, I wanted to stay busy. (hence the Snowball effect) I’m the one who asked “What do I do now that the kids are grown up?” Well, I’ve thrown myself in so many different directions with so many new projects to learn and piddle with that I’m feeling like a snowball rolling downhill. I’m starting to feel like I used to when the kids were here – running like Hell. . . but in a good way.

I love staying busy. I can’t stand NOT to be busy. But sometimes, I think I should be careful what I wish for.

One thing I didn’t wish for was Fall. Everyone knows that I worship Summer. I do not welcome Fall, even though it’s so gloriously beautiful.

Here are the first signs of Fall here on the East Coast. Much unlike the Midwest that was hammered with snow. I’m glad I don’t live there. But maybe if I did, I’d get this dang bedroom painted.

I was removed from the planet yesterday – just so you know. Aliens invaded my body in such a way that can only be compared to the very first episode of South Park (click on Season 1, Episode 1), otherwise known as a Colonoscopy. But it felt more like this:

I won’t bore you with my little medical details except suffice it to say, my doctor is running every test known to mankind trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. The colonoscopy was just one of the myriad of tests he’s done and this one has by far been the most “fun”. When I use the word “fun”, please read that using the MOST extreme amount of sarcasism that your brain can possibly muster. Sarcasism is so hard to enunciate on paper.

Being that I’m getting “older”, I know a few people who have had this little procedure done. And I swear to you. . . they ALLsaid that it was really no big deal. . . AND I LISTENED TO THEM! I WANTED it to be no big deal. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was not asking more questions, which I didn’t ask because I was under this false umbrella of security that everything would be okay. (insert angels singing)

They had given me a sheet of instructions to follow to prep for this procedure. I knew that it involved a thorough cleaning of all my pipes, but I didn’t think a whole lot about it. How bad could it be? I poop everyday. The instructions simply said to drink 8oz of this liquid (I’ll from this point forward refer to this liquid as goo because it tastes like a mixture of Ajax and cat urine) every 10 minutes until half the gallon was gone. Then the next morning at 5am, repeat the same instructions until the gallon jug was empty. I wasn’t looking forward to drinking that much goo. . . because I don’t even drink that much Miller Lite in that short of a timespan. . . and I ENJOY my Miller Lite. But I had blinders on my eyes as to what was to happen next.

First, let’s put together the essentials. This is all you need. This will be your friend. The toilet. For quite some time. Don’t forget to apologize to Mr. Toilet for what you’re about to do to him. He doesn’t know what’s coming either. Oh, and don’t forget to stock up on the toilet paper. You’re gonna need lots of that. And that’s no joke!

I knew that this goo was going to promote the cleaning of said pipes. I knew that. Yet – it never occurred to me that it would involve robbing me of my precious sleeptime for having to get up to a rumbling that sounded like a freight train coming through my bedroom window and force me to a run for my life. . . every 20 minutes. . . for the entire night. There was entirely too much sprinting being done throughout the night to promote any form of sleep. How can one sleep when they have what’s similar to a nuclear weapon exploding from their asshole every 20 minutes? They didn’t put THAT on the instruction sheet.

SO – not only did I have to endure a Clear Liquid Diet the day before (robbing me of my morning coffee, any form of deliciousness for lunch and dinner, AND my Miller Lite), I was also robbed of my sleep the night before this “fun” procedure. . . again with NO cup of coffee to start my day. I stress that part. Because without a good night’s sleep (or ANY sleep), a cup of coffee is absolutley crucial. Are you with me folks?

I went on into the doctor READY to get it over with and with a sigh of relief that the “worst” part was over. I was Spic and Span clean inside and out. Mr. Clean would have been proud. The nurse came in to give me an IV and said, “This is the last mean thing we do to you today. The rest is a breeze. We have good drugs.” She was very nice and yes, I looked forward to her “good drugs” because I didn’t want to remember a single minute of this anal probing. I kept picturing Cartman in the field with the satelite up his ass. I was also secretly afraid that ALL of the liquid goo hadn’t been expelled from my body, that maybe some of it was still held up in there and I feared that when he “probed”, it would release the remaining goo in the form of a run-away garden hose. And I didn’t want to be lucid enough to remember that.

Next another nurse came in and put two syringes of the “good drugs” into my IV. I waited for the sleepy feeling or even the “loopy” feeling, but neither came. The doctor came in and introduced himself (my original doctor had broken his wrist so I had a substitute) and asked if I was ready. I said, “I’m not feeling loopy yet. Aren’t I supposed to be loopy?” He didn’t even answer. . . .because apparently my answer to his question wasn’t really important. He just plunged right on in.

The next thing I know, I’m gripping the bedrail and grunting back a scream while grumbling, “What the HELL?” I think I sounded like something from The Exorcist. The nurse rushes over with another syringe to put into my IV. Still no loopy. I think the syringe only held water because whatever it was. . . was NOT working! I was still gripping the bedrails as if I were hanging from an eight story building. Did it stop this doctor? HELL NO! I think he thought I was just being dramatic. I’m here to tell you. . . I AM NOT A DRAMATIC PERSON. I don’t like attention drawn to myself. I like to be referred to as the “good patient” with no complaints. I am NOT dramatic! But this dude did not know that, nor did he care. He proceeded on as if I weren’t even attached.

So my friends, if you ever have the pleasure of an anal probe from HELL that they medically refer to as a Colonoscopy, just know ahead of time that they often sugarcoat the “cleaning of the pipes”. Trust me – you will get NO sleep and you will feel completely like a lifeless dishrag when the bombs have finished exploding from your ass. And also be sure to test the drugs BEFORE the doctor begins and demand better drugs if yours do not seem to be working. This is the second time something like this has happened to me where pain killers did not work during an operation/procedure and typically, even your regular Vicadin and such don’t do a thing to me. My body is weird like that.

At least the next time I have an anal probing (which won’t be anytime soon!), I’ll go in armed with that little nugget of information. . . because I now KNOW what it’s like without the proper medication.

Knowing I would be out of the office on Tuesday and Wednesday for two totally opposite reasons, Monday was HELL Day. I RAN through Monday at warp speed checking off a list that I thought unrealistic, but I actually perform better when I have more on my plate than normal.

I was later than usual getting home only to find my oldest boy there ready to watch NEW TV. We are so excited about the new Fall lineup starting up. (Summer programming leaves a lot to be desired) So I made dinner and we sat down to watch Heroes. It’s an awesome show! But as soon as that was over, I had to run upstairs to watch Dancing With The Stars that I had recording. I’m obsessed with that show! And so excited for a new season. I love watching the Dancers (who are talented beyond belief) teach these celebrities when the famous celebrities are clearly out of their comfort zone. When they’re not in the comfort zone, they’re just like you and me. (That part makes me smile a little) Some of them, however, rise to the occasion and do a really good job learning these dances, while others. . . not so much. (I’d probably fall into the “not so much” category, but I’d have a blast trying).

Then Tuesday was my day for my long awaited Photoshop class in Virginia Beach. I couldn’t wait! I was certain that I would move through the brain block I have in learning this program and become an instant professional. IF the dude had instructed ANYTHING regarding photos, I may have stood a chance. But this guy (who really was clearly proud of his credentials) spoke only on creating art from scratch. The whole audience was comprised of mostly magazine and book illustrators. Not lowly bloggers who photogragh as a hobby. Shame on me for even signing on. I knew I was in trouble when within the first fifteen minutes, he asked how many people had ever used “calculations” and only one person raised their hand. Yikes.

Well, no matter. I did get a much broader scope of what all Photoshop is capable of and it is truly mindblowing. This guy put together a picture of a train rolling into a train depot and it was comprised of about 15,000 layers. He’d zoom in and pick the tiniest peices of the picture and explain how many layers, channels, whatnot were involved in just that two square inches. The whole time he’s talking about all the intricate details involved in this picture below, I kept thinking “Why not just go to the train depot and take the picture?”

The same guy said he’s working on another piece of work using CS4 that we ordinary mortals are not privy to yet and that it was going to take him 2 1/2 years. Two and a half years, people! In the words of Larry The Cable Guy, “I give up on a good shit after 20 minutes.” My attention span is not 2 1/2 years long. I’m sorry. I’m sure he makes the big $$ and I’m sure he may be well worth it. But ME? It’s not what my calling is.

This is a podcast from the instructor and this is the exact introduction he gave to this class. See – no photograph manipulation within a ten mile vicinity.

The class wasn’t a total loss on me. I did learn one thing and that is not to be afraid to “PLAY”. I’m this freakish perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I never felt comfortable “playing”, especially when my “play” created something monstrous. In the class, I got to see exactly what some of the options were used for and I got a better feel of the language and how to move around in order to “play” more easily. So I guess it’s back to trial and error.

I also had great plans to come home after the class and post about all the great stuff I’d learned and even possibly manipulate a couple of pictures and post my outstanding results, but it turned out that what I had ahead of me for the evening didn’t allow quite as much time as I’d initially assumed I’d have. When the evening post didn’t pan out, I thought I’d write up a post first thing in the morning BEFORE I left to go to the doctor. NO – that was a fantasy as well.

Tomorrow – I plan to post the REAL story is behind a Colonoscopy. The real facts that they don’t print on your instruction packet. It will be riveting – let me tell you. Yep – It will be an EDUCATIONAL post.

Oh – and what is the deal with Facebook? Has it got Crack filtering out from the monitor? Whenever I log on, I go nuts. There’s a game called Scramble that I can’t pull myself away from. Then DeWitte invited me to something called Word Challenge. Now I’m a junkie to that too. I wondered briefly if it could replace my addiction to cookbooks, but sadly NO. I bought another one tonight while standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. If it were shoes or jewelry or clothes, I wouldn’t think myself so freakish. But it’s cookbooks for Christ’s sake. How many ways can one possibly learn to cook CHICKEN? And the stupid Parking Wars!!!!!! I’m running around moving my car from street to street like it’s something that really matters in the world.

I’ve never been the most competitive person on the planet – mainly because I was never good at many sports. Okay, ANY sports. But I play a mean game of Ping Pong. THAT, my friends, is where I stunned even my grown boys. They could NOT believe that their mom kicked their ASSES. THEY grew up very competitive, so I did not go gentle on them. Their dad and his family are the most competitive group of people I’ve ever met. I love them very much, but seriously, you have to watch whose team you get on in a game of Pinnocle. There could be claws involved. And the basketball, football and soccer games? Forget about it!!! They’re brutal! I got thrown into a stack of bricks once during a basketball game and scraped up my leg and they told me to “suck it up and get back in the game”. My ex suffered from a spinal injury last year while playing touch football that left him partially paralyzed for a little while like a stroke victim. I think that’s the first time an injury ever actually STOPPED the game.

Boy do I digress. I was talking about how competitive I’m becoming on Facebook and how surprised I am by my reaction. I was highly upset by my $5,560 Parking Ticket from the UNsympathetic DeWitte, my friend. So it made me think about how much I’ve changed. I don’t know if the change is due to age/wisdom or menopause or empty nest syndrome, but something has. This is a little list that I want to start for myself to note the different changes. These are just a few. I’ll be adding to this list as time goes on.

HOW I’VE CHANGED SINCE I’VE GOTTEN OLDER, BECOME POST-MENOPAUSAL AND SUFFERING FROM EMPTY NEST SYNDROME

1. Okay, the obvious, I’m more competitive. It’s new for me, so I’m just getting used to it.
2. I tolerate much less crap from people. My Bullshit Meter goes off – ding ding ding ding – and I say what I gotta say.
3. I dispise people who talk on their cell phone while driving. This envokes an ugly rage in me when they go 10 – 15 miles UNDER the speed limit and weave all over the road in their own little world.
4. I hate cars with boom-boom speakers in their car in which they feel like they should share their crappy boom-boom music with the world. Why do they always have their windows rolled down? You can’t get away from them and it makes me want to carry a small firearm and just shoot them in the head or at least tazer their stereo system.
Disclaimer: I don’t actually own a small firearm, so all the boom-boomers out there are technically safe.
5. I’ve learned who I am – deep down. And you know what? I like me! Why couldn’t I see myself this way twenty years ago? Why did I only see an ugly, fat, inept human being when I finally realize that I was never ugly, fat OR inept? I look back at pictures and think that I actually looked kinda alright and I know now that I’ve always been smart. I don’t know exactly when I figured that one out, but I’m sure glad I did. I’ve wasted too much time as it is thinking I was less than I am. Can I bottle this and sell it? If I could, I’d be rich, I tell ya.
6. I’m a lot more relaxed about things; meaning that I don’t care so much what people think about me anymore. Actually, I don’t really care at all. Either people like me or they don’t. If they don’t, the earth isn’t going to fall off its axis.
7. I still hate exercise. Enough said there. I will never find joy in exercise, no matter how good of a pitch I hear.
8. As old as I am, I have SO much I want to learn still. I’m never going to stop learning. I want to know it ALL. So many books, so little time.
9. I finally learned how to have fun! My mother described me when I was a child as a “little bitty adult”. Personally, I don’t think I really had a choice, but I’ve dealt with that. Byegones. NOW, I have FUN! Laughing is my favorite thing to do on this planet!
10. I’ve learned to truly enjoy my own company. My kids worry about me being by myself now that they’ve moved out. My oldest thinks I’m going to be bored all the time and I reassured him that I am NEVER bored. NEVER. EVER. I have much too much to read and learn and to do every single day that there’s never enough time.

Getting older sucks in many ways. **clearing throat** Gravity ** But in lots of other ways, I feel better than ever. MUCH more confident in myself. I wish I could bottle it and sell it, cuz I know that I could have used a dose of this several years ago. It would have saved me a lot of misery.

Live your life today like you are the greatest person you know. Chances are. . . you are.

What are ten things that’s changed about you over the years? Okay, ten might be tough. How about five? What are five things that’s changed about you and perspective on things these last several years? I’d be interested to know.

I think Lizzie, the lizard, is interested too.
Oh hush, don’t be hatin’. Remember, I’m getting old. “Hello, Senility, is that you knockin’?”

There was this one particular sunrise that I wanted to capture on film that was simply breathtaking on my route into work.  Not particularly being a morning person, I would never remember to take the camera with me because in the morning, I move about on auto-pilot.  So – in all my brilliance, I put the camera in the car the night before so that I’d have it when I saw my beautiful sunrise.  Hence the word ‘brilliance’ . . . yeah, not so much.  My car was broken into that night and my prized camera was stolen.  I was so heartbroken.  And the funny thing is . . . I wasn’t as heartbroken over the loss of the camera, but of the film that was inside.  I had studied and practiced and I was certain that I had some prize winning photos in there.  So sad, I was.

Now fast-forward 30 years later, I finally purchase my second 35mm camera. . . well, my Canon Digital Rebel.  And as much as I love my camera, it’s just not as easy to use as I’d like.  Oh, the Auto shots are good.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s a fabulous camera.  It’s the operator.  Yeah, that would be me.  

This photo of my new camera was taken with my old camera, a little HP Photosmart digital camera I bought for my trip to Vegas last year.  It’s small and perfect for traveling, but it’s not the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to taking smashing photos.  I keep it with me at all times . . . just in case I need to capture a quick shot sometime.  But for overall use, I absolutely adore my Canon. . . even if it is kicking my a$$.   I’m wanting to learn to take stunning, jaw-dropping, prize-winning photos.  The ones that you use all the fancy settings for.  Yeah, those are tougher.  Thank goodness I don’t have to develop all my practice shots.  I’d never get to eat and I’d be sleeping in the streets.

Because I have probably 100+ pictures of my cat alone.  She’s quite the ham.

And 100+ pictures of my flowers.

And 50+ pictures of the clouds.  Yeah, not really sure why on this one.  Just because they’re there, I guess.

And let’s not forget food.  Who knew that taking pictures of food would be so difficult?  I have terrible lighting in my house – meaning not much natural light – so my pictures always need help.

Which brings me to learning Photoshop.  I bought a book to learn Photoshop and in the Foreward, it said, “Yes, you DO have to be a rocket scientist.”  I put the book down.  I thought, “How hard can it be to just figure it out?”  I mean, I am a computer geek.  Well, let me just tell you. . . . Computer geek or not, Photoshop is kicking my BEhind.   So needless to say, these are ALL straight-out-of-camera shots.

My secret weapon that I’m going to use now is The Pioneer Woman.  On top of her fabulous Cooking section on her site, she has an entire section just for Photography.  She takes amazing photos already, but add her little Photoshop ‘Actions’ that she uses and it’s like Emeril “kicking it up a notch”.   She has these step by step posts of how she achieves certain attributes from Photoshop and that’s just what I need – Pioneer Woman’s Photoshop School for Dummies.

Another good site I found was Ximinas Photography.  It’s more text than Pioneer Woman’s step by step pictures for dummies, but it’s great information.

Hopefully, I’ll improve as time goes by and you’ll be able to see a difference in the quality of my photos.  We’ll see how that works out.  One thing I can say for sure. . . it does keep me busy.  And with all this time on my hands now that my house is empty, there are no excuses.

Do any of you have any tips, suggestions, references for me?  I am so OPEN to any information I can get.  I’m a sponge.  Not SpongeBob Squarepants!  Nope, I’m SpongeDonna YellowJeepBlonde.  Help me!  Even my jokes are lame.

Ever since my kids grew up and stopped needing me so much, I’ve sort of turned into a workaholic.  It’s my deep rooted need to be needed – and appreciated.  I happen to have a terrific boss who DOES appreciate me and all of my extra effort, so it’s all good.  But I can honestly say that NO ONE thought I could take a whole week vacation without logging into the office at least once, especially my boss.  (okay, so I did log in once or twice. . . but I was just lookin’. . . so no harm done, right)  The point is that I didn’t do ANY work work the whole week.  That’s not to say that I didn’t work my little tushy off at home during my cleaning, I mean, my vacation.

I’ve got to say though, if I didn’t have such a huge project planned for me to focus on at home, there would have been a problem.  I’d have been logged in everyday.

The thing I learned though was that there’s a fine line between the “stay-at-home-mom” and the “working mom”.  I’ve been both at one point or another.  My week off brought to heart feelings of that old life I had where I stayed home, took care of the kids, cleaned the house, ran bazillion errands, played chauffer, and cooked dinner.  All this versus my then later life when I went to work everyday, took care of the kids, cleaned the house, ran bazillion errands, played chauffer, and cooked dinner.  So what’s the fine line, you ask?

I worked hard at them both, but I’ve got to say. . . it’s really hard to say which one I liked better.  Staying at home had its advantages and disadvantages as well as going to work. 

Staying at home. 

Pros - It felt great knowing that it was I that was raising my children, teaching them, playing with them, etc.  My house stayed clean.  Laundry stayed caught up.  I could get involved with their school.  My schedule was as flexible as I wanted it to be.  I could cut my grass anytime of the day instead of only after 5:00pm when it was soccer practice AND dinner time.  There was a great satisfaction in knowing that I was doing a good job.

Cons – You never slow down.  You’re in constant motion.  And after awhile with no adult interaction, your brain starts turning into Playdough.  Your working friends think you don’t do anything all day except watch soap operas and eat bon bons, so they ask endless “favors”, like babysitting THEIR kids.  You are constantly cleaning, constantly cooking and constantly trying to figure out where the Hell all the laundry comes from.

Working.

Pros – You have all kinds of adult interaction (some good and some not so good) and your brain stays sharp.  I felt more current with the world in general.  And honestly, it gives you a break.  Sometimes I didn’t want to go home.  I wanted to stay at work. . . .

Cons – Because honestly, I knew what was waiting for me there. . . all the stuff that I couldn’t handle during the day while I was at work.  You can’t just make those needs disappear.  The kids still have to be chauffered, fed, homework done, etc. and the house still needed to be cleaned and the laundry done.  It all generally got done. . . just not as well.  Not nearly as well.

Oh yeah, and you have NO sick days.  (That’s a universal mom thing though that applies to both)

These days with the kids grown, it is certainly a lot easier.  I love my job.  I love it when we’re crazy busy.  It makes me feel like I’ve done something in my day.  That I was valued.

Then I also LOVE staying at home (as I did this past week) and taking care of my house full-time giving it the attention it so richly deserves (instead of the half-assed cleaning it gets on weekends).  It made me feel good and “valued” just seeing the results of my efforts – satisfaction of a job well done.  I didn’t need a boss to praise me.  I praised myself.  In fact, I think there’s something wrong with my elbow from twisting my arm so much patting myself on the back.

Not to mention how great shopping is during the day.  I HATE shopping!  I hate crowds.  I can not stand waiting in line.  I hate hate hate shopping.  But shopping during the day when the masses are at work – a breeze.  LOVED IT!  I went to Walmart (WallyHell) twice this past week and I didn’t want to hurt a single person.  It wasn’t bad at all.  BECAUSE it wasn’t after 5:00pm on a weekday or the weekend.  I remembered how it used to be when I was that stay-at-home-mom.  That part I’ve really missed.

I actually think I lean more toward the “stay-at-home” mom role (minus children now) basically because that’s what I enjoyed so much last week, but now that I’m back in the saddle here at work, my workaholic zone is kicking in again – only with a clean house at home.

This is what I worked on tonight when I got home from work.  I organized more spices after cleaning out my cabinets.  I love these!!!  I freed up an entire cabinet for me.  Plus, it just looks neat.

Arent’ they cool?!