Twenty five years ago today, I was married to my children’s father who was in the Navy and on a ship whose homeport was Yokosuka, Japan – the other side of the globe. I, however, was back home in Mississippi nine days overdue to give birth to our first baby. To say that I was scared pooless would be an understatement. I knew nothing of what lay ahead of me. I just knew that I was more than ready to deliver.
When you’re that close to popping, people are always asking “When are you due?”. When you answer, “Nine days ago”, people all but vanish into thin air. You hear a swoosh of wind as they flee for fear that you’ll drop any second. But nope. I didn’t drop in the grocery store that day. It’s funny that I still remember that bagboy and the expression of pure fear on his face when I answered his question.
Now I sit twenty-five years later wondering where the time went and am completely and surprisingly emotional. Why am I so emotional? My baby has had birthdays before. Apparently he’s had 24 of them already. Why is this one stirring my weepy pot? I’ve been on the verge of unloading a bucket of tears since yesterday and I just don’t understand.
I also don’t understand where those 25 years went. When you’re a kid, a year seems like an eterrrrrnnity. It felt like Santa only visited every five years because the one year seemed sooooooo looooonnnngg. Nowadays. . . gosh, a month feels like it’s a minute and a year feels like a couple of weeks. I was having a conversation at the pool last week (the end of July) about hurricane season and how we haven’t seen any yet this year. Miss N said, “They’ll probably start up in August”, and my first thought was, “That’s LATE in the summer” like it was a long way off. IT WAS IN TWO DAYS! August was only two days away and I was thinking it was a couple of MONTHS away. The summer can’t be almost over! It JUST started!
NOW my baby boy will be 25 years old tomorrow. I reminisced here last year, but wasn’t nearly as emotional. Am I weepy because I FINALLY figured out that he’s not my BABY anymore? That I blinked and his entire life flashed by me like a lightning bolt? Am I weepy because I finally realized that he doesn’t need me anymore? I don’t get it. But here I sit trying my best to hold back the tears as he gets one more year older.
My baby’s not this little anymore. He is all grown up. He’ll be 25 years old tomorrow!!