Or maybe I should be asking “What is considered news?” My Google homepage displays breaking news links (so that I can stay current with the pulse of America). This is what I saw today:

Nutritionist Says Jackson Pleaded for Insomnia Sedative Since when are sedatives in any way involved with a nutritionist? Is this the latest and greatest diet fad? I mean, I’ve joked about how I wish there were a Sleeping Diet where you just go to sleep for a couple of weeks and wake up 20 pounds lighter. But somehow, I don’t think that’s what Michael had in mind. I’m thinking that maybe he should have tried Tylenol PM. It worked for my insomnia!

What Is Sex? Americans Can’t Agree Now it’s been awhile since I’ve HAD sex, but I’m pretty sure that I remember what it IS! What is wrong with people in this country that they’re arguing about what sex is? Please.
This article is about that South Carolina Senator who had an affair with an Argentinian woman and even went so far as to describe her as “his soulmate”. And now people are actually debating on what “technically” constitutes an act of SEX. Again, people please! There are thousands of “technical” facits to it, but why do people have be technical at all? Sex is sex. Intimacy is intimacy. Sex WITH intimacy is fantastic, but you can certainly have sex without it. And you can certainly have intimacy without having had sex. (It’s STILL considered an affair) And oral sex IS sex, hence the word “SEX”.

Sarah Palin: “I Betcha I Could Beat Obama” Well, she couldn’t beat him in the political race, so she’s challenging him to a foot race. Is she kidding? Is she 7? She IS spunky. I have to give her credit for that. But I think it’s more inflated ego than anything else. She was so sure that she (and John) was going to win in the presidential race too, but we see how that turned out. (Ooops, there I go pissing off my Republican friends). I’m sorry, but Sarah needs to. let. it. GO.

Now on to something completely different. Remember the response that Britain’s Got Talent’s Susan Boyle received on YouTube? Well, now America’s Got Talent has it’s own version of Susan Boyle, and his name is Kevin Skinner, aka. The Chicken Catcher. I watched this last night and was wowed by this guy. He is as country as country can get and he’s got the Southern Drawl something fierce (he sounds just like my brother), but when he starts singing. . . WOW! There was just something so genuine and endearing about him, his voice, his charm, I don’t know. I found myself swelling with pride FOR him, like I was his mama or something. Why do I feel like everybody’s mama? I’m a sap, that’s why.

I marvel at people that have such talent. It’s a gift. One of which I do not possess, but surely appreciate when I see it or hear it. My dear, sweet friend, Julz, from South Africa has such a talent. I’ve been one of her biggest fans for years. Now, it looks like she and her band are on the road to becoming big rock stars and I couldn’t be more proud if I WERE her mama.

Well, I had every intention of posting Part 2 the very next day, but I tell ya. . . last week was ONE busy week! Lots of exciting things going on. Some good and some really not so good.

My drug dealers/car thief neighbors are gone. FINALLY! They have been a source of unease and entertainment (sort of like watching a horror movie) and drama for the last two years. I’ve complained and complained to our Home Owner’s Association, but they never did anything about it because I didn’t have any PROOF. What? Did they want me to wind up dead to PROVE it to them? Well, nonetheless, they’re gone. What in the world WILL I do now without constantly peeping out my windows at the drug deals and cop drama?

Things at work continue to slowly plummet into a suckhole of bull$hit. I hate this economy and what it does to the managers and the “number-crunchers”. I SO hate it when they say, “You’re going to have to take a 10% paycut and you’re going to be happy about it cuz at least you have a job!” HATE THAT! (That didn’t happen to me personally, but I know a lot of people that it DID happen to) I have the mindset that NO ONE is going to hold me hostage in a job. I work too hard and care too much about my job to even BE around people that think like that.

My ex’s birthday was the day after my last post and I intended on giving him a hard time about turning 50! But something’s lost in translation when you’re a week late.

I’ve been suffering from Spring Cleaning Fever and I’m slightly annoyed. . . because it ISN’T SPRING! I don’t know what constitutes my sudden urge to clean out my closets and redecorate my house. I want to be outside!! Not in a dark, cluttered closet. I have conflicting personalities apparently. Just call me Sybill, okay?
So I’ve come up with a compromise and that’s when it’s dark and the pool is closed and when I’m usually posting something on my site, I clean closets. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but I HAVE discovered some fun stuff (pictures and stuff) that I can share later.

Okay. Then there was everybody dropping dead last week! What in the world was up with that? Shocking and surprising deaths almost everyday! Major celebrities dropping dead left and right! And the causes are all so drastically different.

Ed McMahon - he was just old.

Farrah Fawcett - poor thing suffered from that nasty cancer for long enough.

Billy Mays - don’t know. A bump on the head or something. Just woke up dead.

Michael Jackson - well, when you take 8 jillion drugs and eat like a bird, something’s got to give. I’m just sayin’. And there’s a lot more I could say, but there are a billion people who would probably linch me in my sleep. So I’ll just leave it to Chris Rock! He puts it like only Chris Rock can put it. He cracked me UP!

So even though last week was a little busy and hectic, you can still bet that I made time for the sun. My boys came over again over the weekend and swam in the pool. Two weeks in a row!!!! I say that surprised-like because I don’t think that Chris got in the pool once last year. It’s so fun when they’re in there together.

And cannonballs are ALWAYS in order.

Then, of course, Chris can’t let his little brother even THINK that he can make the biggest splash.

But it’s not always about the splash. Sometimes, it’s about the height.

What do you think? I think Adam’s got the height.

**I actually wrote this yesterday, but I was having so much trouble with my external hard drive and my memory card reader that I couldn’t actually publish anything. Anyway. . . .**

What a fabulous weekend!

First, I finally got some sleep. Folks, I had been running on virtually ZERO sleep for the last two to three weeks, making for a Donna that didn’t feel very well. It was rough. I do not know WHY I couldn’t sleep (because my body was absolutely SCREAMING for some shuteye). All I know is that I felt like a drugged up zombie (minus the drugs) with the reflexes of a tree stump, barely functioning. I couldn’t even think. UNTIL . . . I was talking to a neighbor at my pool. She’s an older lady that I absolutely adore and she had the cure - Tylenol PM. I had been taking Benedryl, but it wasn’t working one little bit. So I tried her Tylenol PM and SHAZAM. . . I slept. It was wonderful, blissful sleep. It took a couple of days to get back to my regular perky and peppy self, but the difference in how I felt was staggering.

Second, despite the weathermen’s predictable “cover their behinds” forecast for the area of scattered thunderstorms, we only experienced a very slight sprinkle that lasted less than five minutes the entire weekend. The clouds looked ominous when the slight sprinkle began and it sent all the lightweights pool-goers running for home. But not this chick. Nope, I walked up under the overhang very calmly and very patiently, stood there for about a minute and a half and then marched my behind right back out to my chair. The skies behind the ominous ones were bright blue and the sun returned.

My two boys came over for dinner. I made roast beef with gravy, smashed potatoes, roasted squash and zucchini, and brownies and it was all very tasty. Then after cleaning that up, we went out to the pool. My boys did not inherit my love of the sun. Actually, they despise the sun, so with the sunlight fading behind the condos, they felt it was safe enough to play in the pool.

And play, they did! I got these action shots.

This is Chris (aka Shark) sneaking up on his brother

who is innocently trying to show me how to sit on the bottom of the pool. (I simply can NOT do it! I FLOAT right to the top. I think it’s because of the two bouys attached to my chest.)

When suddenly he’s attacked!

“What the world!”

Chris is a brute! I often wondered why he never played football and made me millions cuz he’s so strong that I’m sure he could take those bigass dudes down at the knees.

Adam is resisting this attack the best he can. Bless his heart!

But Chris gets bored and tosses him aside like yesterday’s newspaper.

“BAM! Take that little brother!”

(Chris has done this to Adam his entire life)

Now he drags him around

to press the point that HE IS THE KING OF THE POOL!

He’s victorious!

But Adam doesn’t mind at all. You know why? Cuz he’s got other things to think about. . .

HE’S got the girl! (She’s the new girlfriend and is extremely camera shy so this was the best I could get) (Oh, and I like her too)

Like I said. . . a super FUN weekend! I have many more fun AND funny pictures, but until my hard drive starts playing nice with my memory card, I have to stop for today. It’s killing me!

Growing up and while in my 20’s and 30’s, I’d always heard “myths” about menopause. You know the stories about the tell-tale signs!

**Hot flashes
**Weight gain
**Facial hair
**Sleep Disorders
**Mood swings

Doesn’t really rate high up on the “Can’t wait to get there” scale.

**And finally, the one I’d always heard. . . It only lasts for about six months. **insert loud buzzer** WRONG!

I had to have my womanly parts yanked out when I was 30 years old. (Thank goodness I’d already had my two boys) They told me then that I could go through menopause at any time in the next 20 years. Well, I made it 10. In my early 40’s, things started to change. And I remember feeling self-assured that it would only last six months. I could make it six months. Piece of cake. That was EIGHT years old.

Which brings me to that last one. I’ll address the last one first because that’s the biggest crock of all of them. Menopause can last as long as it bloody well wants to last. According to my reading, it can seriously last anywhere from six to thirteen years. YEARS, people! Welcome to my hell world.

Hot flashes! This seem to be the keynote sympton to menopause. The one thing that states “Game On”. The change of life is here. But I want to set one thing straight right now. When I say hot flashes, I mean it is NO. JOKE. HOT! There’s no warming up to hot. It’s not like Nelly’s song “It’s gettin’ hot in here” hot. NO - it’s like you’re perfectly fine one second and the next second, you’re blazing-on-fire-you-think-you’re-going-to-die-strip-till-you’re-naked-right-this-second-hot. I had the majority of my hot flashes during the winter which worked out really well for me (well, as well as hot flashes can go anyway). However, I LOOKED like a freak of nature to everyone I knew, and more especially, those that I didn’t know. I went to work that entire winter wearing my summer clothes, skirts, tank tops, sandals. Not a single coat/jacket/sweater in sight. Not once that entire winter did those particular garments touch this body. I was walking across the parking lot going into my office one morning and a lady slightly older than I just looked at me (she didn’t even make a face as most people did) and simply said, “Menopause?” Me - “Yep”. Enough said. End of conversation.

But then there was home and . . . my children. Not once did I turn the heat on in the house because I was certain that I would DIE. I kept my bedroom windows wide open (but I had my door closed so not to freeze out the rest of the house) and I walked around in shorts and a t-shirt. I remember my oldest boy coming to me several times. He was wearing three layers of clothes and a beanie on his head telling me, “MOM! I can see my breath in the house!!” I’m sitting there in my t-shirt perfectly fine explaining how I would melt into a puddle if I turned on the heat. Did he really want me to melt? He didn’t answer that.

Weight gain! **insert buzzer** I think it’s different for everybody. I, personally, haven’t gained anything. BUT! Oh, there IS a BUT! But, your body shifts. I mean it totally reshapes itself. It morphes into something that you never signed up for. My entire behind moved. I didn’t lose it. It just MOVED. It moved to my midsection. Left my behind (not that I ever had much of one) altogether. Gone. Welcome to my midsection. But then comes in the whole “care factor” and it’s not that big of a deal. Ten years ago, I’d have been destroyed by this morphysis, but now. . . not so much. I am who I am. Now, I just am with a little baby belly and NO ass at all.

Facial hair! Really? Now I KNOW that God has a sense of humor. Why else would he do this to women? Seriously! Wrinkles aren’t enough? He has to throw in a mustache as icing on the cake?! Well, thank goodness that I’m blonde! It’s not HORRIBLY noticeable, but I DO have to shave it off every now and then. It’s just not fair. We already have to shave our legs and our armpits. So I was thinking maybe I could let it grow and I could shape myself a handlebar mustache. You know, start a trend. (I just made myself shudder in thought)

Sleep Disorders! This one is not even funny. I NEED MY SLEEP! Throw in the hot flashes (which are then termed night sweats - FUN times!) and you are one miserable puppy. This has been going on now for several years for me. It comes and goes, but mostly it comes. A month or so ago, I went two whole weeks straight where I slept all night and the difference was so noticeable in how much better I felt. I was happier than usual, more carefree, less likely to take someone’s head off. I thought my sleep loss had come to an end. Then the sleep robber came again. This week has been especially bad and I. AM. EXHAUSTED. Monday night, I slept fantastic. . . from 11pm until 1am. Then WIDE awake the rest of the night. Tuesday night, I slept great from 11pm until 2:06am., then again, wide awake. Wednesday night, I got a whopping four hours of sleep. I made it until 3:10am! I almost threw a party, except I had no energy. I’m like a drained noodle. Which leads me to. . .

Mood swings! What can I say? Hormones are shifting and they wreak havoc in many forms. It’s everything from crying for no apparent reason, to blowing a gasket if the toilet paper is upside down on the little spinny thing. And there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. But I think it’s so much more than that. I think the mood swings/hormone shifting has shifted my entire attitude. My “What’s Most Important” ideals have changed as well. My “Who Gives A Shit” factor - shifted. And my “Tolerance For Bullshit” has. left. the. building. One might consider me a tad cranky. I don’t see it that way though. I see it as the vail of pretense has been lifted. What you see is what you get. I’m too old to play games, but I’m old enough to have learned what really matters. And whether I drive a fancy car, or buy highend clothes, whether a neighbor likes me or not, or whether I’m having a bad hair day and a zit that would rival any volcano. . . really? Does any of that REALLY matter in the grand scheme of things? Will I remember any of it five years from now? Probably not. So who gives a shit? Do you have any idea how refreshing that feels? I feel ten pounds lighter without all that worry.

To summarize. . . hormones SUCK.

Sounds weird, right? I’ve always strived for my cakes to moist and tasty, even light at times, but never CHEWY. However, leave it to Paula Deen to demonstrate Chewy Cake on her show this past weekend, and wham, I’m hooked. I wrote it down and bought the ingredients THAT DAY. But then the sun came out for a brief couple of hours and I ran outside.

So yesterday, I had a dentist appointment. (Just a cleaning. No cavities, thank you very much.) My plan was to go to the appointment, then go home (I was waiting for a package that needed signing for - again - damned XBox) and I was going to work from there for the rest of the day. But as I was sitting in the dentist chair looking out the window at a beautiful sunny (and HOT) afternoon, I was thinking, “Hmmm. Maybe I should just go to the pool after the UPS man comes, then work from home tonight.” It sounded like a great idea to me! Apparently, Mother Nature didn’t think so.

It was beautiful (and HOT, did I mention that?) when I left the dentist’s office. It was beautiful all the way home. I got home, logged into the office and worked for about an hour before the UPS man came, and as soon as he drove away. . . . not five minutes later. . . some seriously dark, lightening-filled clouds rolled in and said, “NO! You will NOT go to the pool! Get to work girlfriend!” **whimper**

It was a crazy storm!! There have been crazy storms all over the U.S. lately. I guess storm season is among us. Anyway, this storm went on for hours. It was just stalled right above us. So I finished out my workday, watched my soap, The Young and the Restless (Damn, hottie Nick went back to that slutbag, Sharon and left fiesty Phyllis), and I started baking.

I have no reason to bake other than the fact that I can’t sit still (unless I’m lounging in the sun) and I have this compulsive urge to find tasty recipes for the Hell of it. So I went back to last Sunday’s game plan before it got so rudely interrupted with sunshine - Paula Deen’s Chewy Cake. Here’s what you need:

CHEWY CAKE

1 stick butter (there’s a surprise!)
1 box brown sugar (yes, the whole box!)
2 cups self-rising flour
3 eggs
2 Tablespoons vanilla
1 cup coconut (optional)
2 cups chopped pecans (optional, or you can substitute walnuts)
1 cup chocolate chips (optional, but why would you leave them out?)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream sugar and butter really well. Sift in flour; mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Then add vanilla, mix well. Stir in coconut, pecans, chocolate chips. Mixture will be stiff.

Spoon into greased 9″ x 13″ pan and bake for 30 - 35 minutes.

This is what you get!

They are EASY! (And I DO love me some easy) They ARE chewy! They ARE tasty! And they ARE different. But I like different. I’M different. It’s how I roll. And trust me, I WILL be rolling if I eat this whole pan. So I took them to the office.

One of my earliest memories as a little girl was when I was about 3 or 4 years old. I was sitting in a chair parked at our front door with my nose pressed up against the window glass singing “Rain! Rain! Go away! Come again another day”. Even as a little girl, I’d much rather had play outside than inside. Not much has changed in the 40+ years that’s followed because this whole past week, I’ve been peering out my windows singing the same song.

We had a brief reprieve yesterday from the rain. It was still cloudy, but hey, it wasn’t raining. That’s all that I need. I’m outside the minute the last raindrop hits the ground. I dry off my chair by the pool and assume the position. My dear neighbors are never surprised to see me sitting out there even when there is no sun. I’ve told them all that outside is outside and since I don’t have a backyard, the pool is IT, my backyard.

While my condo is nice and it’s got its advantages, there are disadvantages too. Mainly that missing backyard deal. I struggle with that one all the time. As much as I miss having a yard and as much as I’d love to have a real house, I just don’t see me starting over. (I’ve almost got this one paid for) And the housing market in this area sucks bigtime. Houses cost WAY more than they’re worth. It makes me want to run toward middle America. But THEN, I’d be missing the beach and all the cool things that this area provides. I can’t win. So, for now, I’ll stay put.

The weather is forecasting rain everyday for the next WEEK! Seriously, where is all this rain coming from? We’ve had so much rain ever since I planted my flowers that I’ve only had to break out the waterhose twice. In fact, two of my plants are getting too much water. I put them in that particular spot because I knew it gets the most sun and I wanted something that was slightly drought tolerant. That soil dries up faster than anywhere else in my yard. But not right now. . . there’s just SO much rain, they’re practically in standing water.

I haven’t been doing much cooking lately. I usually opt to go outside instead. But since I see nothing but rain in the forecast, I’ve got some recipies that I want to try. I’ll be sharing those later in the week. For now, I thought I’d share this little nugget I found. (I wish I could remember WHERE I found it) But it’s sorta interesting. It’s a Birthday Calculator and it gives you all sorts of interesting tidbits about your birthdate, like how many days you’ve been alive, your lucky numbers, astrological signs, etc. This is what mine said. I have my own thoughts on a couple of these facts.

Birthday Calculator

30 December 1960 **sshhhh, don’t tell anybody**

Your date of conception was on or about 8 April 1960 which was a Friday.

You were born on a Friday
under the astrological sign Capricorn.
Your Life path number is 4.

Your fortune cookie reads:
None of the secrets of success will work unless you do.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 6 & 7.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 3, 5 & 9.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2437298.5.
The golden number for 1960 is 4.
The epact number for 1960 is 2.
The year 1960 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/28/1960 and ending 2/14/1961.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Rat.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Goose; your plant is Bramble.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Famenoth, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 11 Tevet 5721.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 12 Tevet 5721.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.7.4.14 which is 12 baktun 17 katun 7 tun 4 uinal 14 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Friday, 11 Rajab 1380 (1380-7-11).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 17 April 1960.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 17 April 1960.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 2 March 1960.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 5 June 1960.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 12 June 1960.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Thursday, 22 September 1960.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Tuesday, 12 April 1960.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 1 March 1960.

As of 6/8/2009 10:18:00 AM EDT
You are 48 years old.
You are 582 months old.
You are 2,528 weeks old.
You are 17,692 days old.
You are 424,618 hours old.
You are 25,477,098 minutes old.
You are 1,528,625,880 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
LeBron James (1984) Kristin Kreuk (1982) Laila Ali (1977)
Tiger Woods (1975) Tracey Ullman (1959) Matt Lauer (1957)
Patti Smith (1946) Davy Jones (1945) Michael Nesmith (1942)
Del Shannon (1939) Noel Paul Stookey (1937) Sandy Koufax (1935)
Russ Tamblyn (1934) Bo Diddley (1928) Jack Lord (1920)
Bert Parks (1914) Rudyard Kipling (1865)

Top songs of 1960
Theme from A Summer Place- Percy Faith Are You Lonesome Tonight? by Elvis Presley
It’s Not Or Never by Elvis Presley Cathy’s Clown by Everly Brothers
Stuck On You by Elvis Presley Running Bear by Johnny Preston
Save the Last Dance for Me by Drifters Teen Angel by Mark Dinning
My Heart Has a Mind of Its Own by Connie Francis

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 6.92446183953033 years old. (You’re still chasing cats!)

Your lucky day is Saturday.
Your lucky number is 8.
Your ruling planet(s) is Saturn & Uranus.
Your lucky dates are 8th, 17th, 26th.
Your opposition sign is Cancer.
Your opposition number(s) is 2 & 7.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 205 days till your next birthday on which your cake will have 49 candles.

Those 49 candles produce 49 BTUs, or 12,348 calories of heat (that’s only 12.3480 food Calories!) .
You can boil 5.60 US ounces of water with that many candles. **Now, that’s just not nice!**
In 1960 there were approximately 4.2 million births in the US.
In 1960 the US population was approximately 179,323,175 people, 50.6 persons per square mile.
In 1960 in the US there were approximately 1,523,000 marriages (8.5%) and 393,000 divorces (2.2%)
In 1960 in the US there were approximately 1,712,000 deaths (9.5 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1960 the population of Australia was approximately 10,391,920.
In 1960 there were approximately 230,326 births in Australia.
In 1960 in Australia there were approximately 75,428 marriages and 6,633 divorces.
In 1960 in Australia there were approximately 88,464 deaths.

Your birth flower is POINSETTIA

Your birthstone is Blue Zircon

The Mystical properties of Blue Zircon

Zircon helps one be more at peace with oneself.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Blue Topaz, Ruby, Lapis Lazuli

Your birth tree is Apple Tree

There are 200 days till Christmas 2009!
There are 213 days till Orthodox Christmas!

The moon’s phase on the day you were born was waxing gibbous. **doing WHAT?**

Recently, somebody who visited my site added my post on Water or Coke? to StumbleUpon.com.  I got an outrageous number of hits and lots of comments.  Some of the comments were a little snarky, but what the hell?  I’m not publishing it in any science journals or anything, so “lighten up, will ya?”. 

Anyway, I took a couple of minutes to see what this StumbleUpon site was all about.  I looked first at the Cooking/Food sites, then somehow it jumped to random sites.  This is where I found THIS.

Fastest spray paintng - Watch a funny movie here

You have to watch it!!!  It’s insane!  I used to paint alot when I was a stay-at-home mom, but haven’t painted much in years.  However, THIS inspires me to break out some spray paint and go to town. 

Somehow, I get the idea that all I’d create would be a hot mess though.  But this guy, Brandon McConnell, is awesome!

My homepage on my Internet Explorer is set to Google. I have it customized with the latest breaking news, weather and gossip around. While I was working this morning, Gladys, who works with me, was standing over my shoulder. She was wanting me to log into our data entry site and look at something. My Google homepage popped up and while it was loading, I saw that David Carradine had died. I gasped, “Kung Fu dude is DEAD!”

To set up the scenario, I have to introduce the characters present at that time.

Gladys - My data entry supervisor - mid 40’s.
DeWitte - My boss - mid 40’s.
Chris - My oldest child - mid 20’s.
Me - older than ALL of them!

Gladys’ response: “Oh no! Kung Fu! I remember that show like it was yesterday.”
DeWitte’s response: “No way?! Really?”
Chris’ response: “WHO?”

My face went all spastic while my brain was trying to wrap itself around the fact that my boy knew nothing about Kung Fu. Then I noticed his young, sweet face and realized that he’s too YOUNG to know who Kung Fu dude was!

Enter generation gap.

I kept saying “Kung Fu”, the TV show!!

I kept saying “Kwai Chang Caine, THE Kung Fu dude!!”

And I got nothing. Blank stare.

Then Gladys came to my rescue with something much more current, “Kill Bill”.

Apparently, he was Bill. I wouldn’t know. . . because Kill Bill is not MY kind of movie! I guess I’m just not “with it”.

Anyway, the Generation Gap conversation continued as we discussed his death.

Chris - “Well, he WAS an OLD dude.”
Me - “He was only 72!”
Chris - ‘Yeah! Well, that’s OLD!”
Me - “72 is not old!”
Chris - “Umm, yeah, it is.”

Then it occurred to me that when I was in my mid 20s, I probably thought 72 was old too. But it’s funny now that I’m rapidly approaching those higher digits, suddenly it doesn’t seem so old to me. Until my body tells me otherwise.

Which lead me to this realization: Last night as I was watching So You Think You Can Dance (I LOVE this show), I got up and started dancing my way to the bathroom like I was as young and agile as the hopeful dancers on TV (because IN MY HEAD, I can dance too!). Until my hip screamed at me, “What the HELL! Stop that!” Crack!

Crap! There seems to reign a generation gap between my head and my body, as well as between myself and my son!!!!

DISCLAIMER: I’m not sure if any of this is true or not. A friend of mine sent this to me in an email and I thought it was VERY interesting stuff!

WATER

1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Most likely applies to half the world population)
2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is mistaken for hunger.
3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.
5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Are you drinking the amount of water you should drink every day?

COKE

1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of Coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the ‘real thing’ sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Apply a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of Coke into the load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION:

1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It will dissolve a nail in about four days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase of osteoporosis.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup! (the concentrate) the commercial trucks must use hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of Coke have been using it to clean engines of the trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water?

Or Coke?

I think I’m going to do some experiments. I’m going to start with the toilets and see if it cleans that. Then I may move on to the ham. I’ll use any excuse to bake a ham.
Do any of you know if these are true?

Hello lounge chair, my old friend! It’s SO good to see you once again.

I was singing cuz I was so giddy to see my pool open and the sun shining! Wheee! It was a glorious weekend! I was in my element. My little slice of heaven.

The pool opened at noon and I was out there by 12:15 loaded up with a book (Jen Lancaster’s “Bitter Is The New Black” - this book is funny as Hell), a magazine (The Food Network - it’s an awesome magazine!), my trusty camera (that I’m STILL learning how to use), and of course, my cooler stocked with cold beer . . . . and . . . . SOMEBODY had MY CHAIR!! How dare they! Obviously these people were new to the neighborhood and are going to need to be trained properly. I kid. I kid.. But it WAS funny as I joked about it with the regulars that KNOW that I sit in the same spot (when it’s available - I’m not really a spoiled witch) everyday.

My youngest boy, who HATES the sun but LOVES his mama, came out to the pool too. (I should have my mail forwarded to the pool address during the summer as I spend so much time there. People think I live there.)

Actually, he came over to do his laundry, but felt he should hang out with me for a little while. You know. . . do his time. We had fun! He had the whole pool to himself at one point and was loving it!! But let me tell you . . . this chick wasn’t getting anywhere near that water. It was freakin’ freezing!!!! So, he swam while I played with my camera.

I learned what difference “exposure” makes (this would have been such an excellent picture of him)

and how to adjust it. (There. That’s better.)

I tried taking action shots. Those need work too.

Poor thing. I made him do cannon balls over and over until I got my exposure right. Thank goodness, he’s a good sport. . . and he likes to do cannon balls.

I hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!